Thursday, October 29, 2009
an evening to remember
Tonight, I have to admit, my heart aches more than ever. James and I were able to spend our date night with Nathan.
The doctors put Nathan in a very deep coma. His ICP (inner cranial levels) have been very high today. The only way to really control them, was to place Nathan in a extremely deep coma. When we heard this news, I will admit, my heart sank. BUT, it is for Nathans safety, and he has the best medical team working on him. His temperature and blood pressure are both under control.
Nathan is still not allowed visitors, due to his infection and ICP levels. All we wanted to do is just go sit with Bethany and her mom. Unexpectedly, James and I were able to go back and see Nathan. So, we suited up, and entered the room. James and I walked into his room together, hand in hand. The room was dark and he looked peaceful. It was only the three of us. James lead me to Nathans side, and we grabbed his hand. All we could do is cry and just look at him and watch the monitors. Nathan looks really good, they bathed/shaved him today. He looks more like himself.
In the silence, all I could do is just stare at him. As James began to pray over him, I began to sing hymns. We cried and asked God to hold Nathan. begged God to intercede and show up. I can tell you, God was in that room with us. I know that may sound crazy to some of you, but I don't care, call me crazy. He was there, and He was with us. James and I believe that God is going to bring people to Himself through Nate's accident. I pray that anything that brings God glory, continues to occur. James went on one side of Nathan, I stood on the other side. We held hands and told Nathan that we were there. We reminded him that God was with him, and that we weren't going anywhere. We wept and begged God to heal our friend. We must not forget that we serve a God that always has our best interest at heart. I know that sometimes we don't understand His ways, they are always better than anything we could do. God knew about this accident, this did NOT take God by surprise! Isn't that amazing. God is in control of Nathans conditions. He see's Nathans future, his ICP levels, blood pressure, coma levels...We must let God be God, and just keep praying and fighting for Nate. Don't get me wrong, it was difficult seeing Nate tonight. I hate seeing him on life-support. James and I miss Nate coming over everyday. I miss Nate eating over, hanging out with me on the porch while James is at work. I miss seeing Nate ride his skateboard across the street to our house. I even miss him knocking on the door and asking if I was feeding Shayn. He has such a sensitive heart. Its just hard right now, and that is ok. It is ok to be sad, to cry~we are doing these things, a lot...but with hope.
James and I kept telling him tonight, "Nate, we are here. We love you, brother. We are fighting with you. We believe in you. You are doing great. You look great. All your friends and people near and far are drenching you in prayer. Gods hands are holding you. Keep fighting." We are human, we weep, we want to trade him places. We are in shock. Its so sad, we are so sad. But we are able to do these things with HOPE. We have faith and are optimistic for Nathans future.
Something I thought was really neat that James shared with me tonight:
James told me that when Nathan got into his first accident ( April 2003), Nathan told James that even though he was in his coma, he could hear James talking to him. Knowing that, we are hoping God allows Nate to hear again.
My sister, Michele is one of the wisest women of God, I know. She read this tonight and is praying this for Nathan. She shared it with me and I wanted to share it with you all.
"Do not be terrified, do not be afraid...the Lord your God who is going before you (Nathan), He will fight for you (as HE did in 2003)..Before your very eyes and in the desert you saw how the Lord your God carried you, (Nathan) as a Father carries His son, all the way you went until you reached this place..."
This reached the deepest part of my soul. God will go before us, He will fight for Nathan and He has carried and continues to carry Nathan...
leaving you with this... Although Nathan may not have had the "best"day, he IS still fighting. He is entering day #5, and that is a MIRACLE. God is good. we are trusting and we are not giving up this fight for his life. The doctors are hopeful and Nathan is in the best hands...rest in that. I will update, in the morning.